musings of an emotional/logical, Worrier/Thinker, about his son growing up

[liquidj]

I sit here thinking about Jonathan heading into Kindergarten, both grateful & cursing the fact that I have such a logical/emotional split to my personality. From what I’ve seen, most guys, when their children grow up, tend to lean toward the logical side of things (or hide being emotional VERY well); this is great, my son is growing up! Time for him to “move on up”!  He’s older now He can do more things! Definitely, no more diapers and the like.  Then there are the few of us, who have always had an emotional (sometime VERY emotional) side as well. Tears of joy come to my eyes when I think of MANY occasions during his short life so far with us; Losing his first baby tooth, First time Fireworks, Definitely no more diapers (yes this falls into BOTH categories), First time parades, bringing him home, etc. 

Well, up until this point, I have actually been staying on the logical side of things (as I thought to myself, a rather pleasant change), but (not) much to my surprise, my emotional side is starting to kick in, now that we are 5 days away from Jonathan starting kindergarten. I’m getting torn up about what he will be changing, both good; New school, New friends, New routine, and bad; No more daily time in the car for him & I (singing together has been a joy!), Leaving the daycare that has been a “second home” of sorts for him & of course him losing his two best buds, Sam & Antonio (AKA the “Three Amigos”).  I almost didn’t make it out of the daycare this morning when I dropped him off, without getting noticeably teary-eyed.

He’s not our BABY boy anymore. In fact he is becoming quite the amazing (and sometimes frustrating) little boy. While I have denied it in the past, diapers and all, I very much miss that baby we brought home almost 5 years ago. But at the same time, I am amazed, proud & excited about what is to come for him.

Are my confused musings as an emotional/logical, Worrier/Thinker….Perhaps not all that uncommon?