liquidj: (Radiohead)
[personal profile] liquidj
My thoughts go out to everyone affected by this madness in Boston at the Marathon.

Thankfully, we were nowhere near any of the recent senseless shootings that have been in the news, nor the bombings that just happened at the Boston Marathon. Yet, understandably our 11 year old son, Jonathan is scared. Hell, I AM scared at these events unfolding around us as of late. After he found out what had happened, the three of us talked about it for a little bit, but in just a few minutes it became very apparent that he was noticeably shaken by it, and he asked if we could stop talking about it. So we did, yet he could not stop himself from either going online or changing the TV channel away from the cartoon network, to follow the developing story. He even asked me to not go out to rehearsal tonight “just to be safe”. I was heartbroken that he was that scared to see me go. I explained that I wasn’t going to be near what was going on, and that I was as safe as I could be, and while that seemed to suffice, I could tell he was still apprehensive about my leaving.

In response to this tragedy, there is a quote from Fred Rogers that is making the rounds: “look for the Helpers”. This is a wonderful sentiment true, but to a child who just doesn’t quite comprehend anything other than the facts that a lot of people were killed and/or hurt, and someone did it, well to me, even Mr. Rogers doesn’t cut it.

I have to admit, the questions about sex, drugs, and making the right decisions as he grows up, right now seem simple in comparison. I’m extremely sad right now, obviously for those that have killed/injured/affected in anyway by this, but also because I honestly don’t know how to answer his question: “Will it be ok?”

It's about locus of control

Date: 2013-04-16 11:34 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
These event leave us feeling out of control. In truth we are no less safe than we were yesterday, before these events. This risk, any risk, has always been there, we just didn't think about it on a daily basis. Now we are thinking about it.

For L, whom I just asked what he would say to J, says he's a bit scared too, he's worried about things happening to other people. He's holding a world empathic standpoint. He's not worried about me/us but others. I told him that there are a lot of people out there now working on this who specialize in this. The threat happened around a particular event. That event is over. We are unlikely to have any further events, there would be no point.

I will talk to an Israeli therapist I know. Israel lives under constant threat of this sort of event and the kids cope. I'll see what resources she can pass my way and I'll share them with you.


Date: 2013-04-17 01:48 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Thanks for this as well

Refuse to be terrorized

Date: 2013-04-16 12:02 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Edited Date: 2013-04-16 12:02 pm (UTC)

Date: 2013-04-17 01:47 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Thank you, this was worth the read.


liquidj: (Default)

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