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Thankfully I am not referring to my son. Who, am I referring to , you might ask? My Sister-in-Law's son. When ever he comes over (we are babysitting him this evening through tomorrow morning), he is this mean, vindictive little boy, who has picked up on the nastiness that is given off by his mother & father (mainly toward each other, they never married, but when they split up a few years ago, it might as well have been a "bitter divorce", and to this day, they deal VERY poorly with each other). A good example of this nastiness that he has picked up on, can be best shown, by the fact that his mother (who dropped him off) mentioned something to us, while her son was in earshot, that he shouldn't have heard, and then later this evening when his father called to wish him a good night, he immediately "tattletaled" on his mother to his father, so that it could be used against her.
But, that as an aside, whenever he comes over, not only is he difficult to deal with, but Jonathan immediatly switches into a defensive mode, and basically becomes instantly opposed to ANYTHING that his cousin wants to do. It becomes a battle just to get the two of them behave themselves, nonetheless to get along for more than 10 minutes at a time. He is constantly trying to do things to get Jonathan in trouble, or just flat out doing things in a mean and smart*ss manner, with a smirk on his face that quite clearly means "I'm going to do what I want, and f*ck you while I do". There are not many 7 year olds that know this look, but he has it down pat. Unfortunately, yet another "pickup" from his parents. Now, outside our home, he may, and very likely does get away with that behaviour with his own parents, but not the hell in our home!
Over the years, my interactions with my sister in law have cooled to the point where we deal relatively well with each other, and thankfully, she only asks us to babysit her son, once in a blue moon, but over the past few years, as he has grown up, he has just become more nasty & mean. It's never a pleasant experience dealing with him. 
But what can one in my position do? Tell my sister-in-law that her son is a royal terror/ PITA & I don't want her son to have anything to do with my own son? I'm at a loss on this one.



 


Date: 2010-11-29 04:27 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] thetammyjo.livejournal.com
You know, your home is yours, your wife's and your son's. What is the reason to share it with such a negative force? Does that reason outweigh the harm his presence may be doing?

Date: 2010-11-29 11:36 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] hammercock.livejournal.com
I guess you have to assess whether the desire to maintain a cordial relationship with your SiL outweighs the fallout potential of telling her that you do not want to have her demon child in your home. In the meantime, whenever he is at your home, you should enforce your higher standard of behavior and not force Jonathan to interact with him, I think, and maybe even reassure Jonathan that you know his cousin is a bad egg and you won't take the kid's word for anything. I don't envy your position. :-/

Is she related through your side or Deb's side, out of curiosity?

Date: 2010-11-30 05:00 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] liquidj2.livejournal.com
She is one of Deb's two sisters. Oh, I/we most definitely don't let him get away with this behavious, when caught of course, in our home. It's very tiring, trying to keep up, oy!

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